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Welcome, Dear You…

If this is the first time you’ve connected with me and this work, I want to extend a deep and strong welcome to you. I don’t yet know what’s brought you here, but I hope you feel at ease to be in touch directly when the time feels right. Before you go deeper into the body of what this work is about and how it may be able to support you, below are some good entry points to begin connecting. Community is good for humankind – a strong focus of this work is cultivating intimacy with otherness, inner alchemy & our journey of togethering. It’s helpful to have clear reflections as anchor points in terrains of the deep Self and to understand that there are others on this path of truth, transformation, and tending the human soul. This work is open to anyone who feels a YES for it, even if they don’t yet know why (that’s what we get to discover together). Looking forward to meeting you via the below channels of connection:

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Let's stay in touch - for occasional personal sharing, early release events & news updates (I don't spam or clog up your inbox)

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Why I’m No Longer Teaching Ceremonial Cacao

by Annu | August 13, 2018 | Blog, Practices, Writing | 57 Comments

Where I Am Right Now... I’m not sure how to start this post other than by saying I’m going through changes. Big changes. This is a very specific process that began in May 2018 and what I can say about this right now is that I’m arriving nakedly into the roots of my...

The Nature of Surrender

by Annu | May 9, 2018 | Audio | 0 Comments

The Nature of Surrender is a tender, bitter-sweet, vulnerable and fierce sonic journey into our human nature and the delicate cascades of our capacity to overcome the obstacles to our heart. Throughout the playlist are invitations to soften again and again as the...

The Roar of Love – an ecstatic movement mix

by Annu | May 9, 2018 | Audio | 0 Comments

The Roar of Love is a short mix that can be used for ecstatic movement, prayer, personal practice and opening to space and love through the body. Seeded with secret transmission, deep ambient build-ups, liberating breakthroughs, soaring melodies, and grounding...

Chambers – a sonic practice

by Annu | May 9, 2018 | Audio | 0 Comments

Chambers is a devotional sonic prayer offering that was originally created to accompany a heart-opening practice for the 10 Day Personal Practice Retreat that took place in 2017. It's a gorgeously gently and enveloping soundtrack to support submergence in the...

Sounds That Move In The Dark

by Annu | May 7, 2018 | Audio | 0 Comments

Sounds That Move In The Dark is a sonic journey of dark deep quietude and bliss, stirring ferocious tenderness and terrible beauty through a silent oceanic arousal of resonant strings, echoing cello, lingering piano notes, haunting vocals and rolling ambient beats. ∞...

Unwinding The Enjoyment Body

by Annu | May 7, 2018 | Video | 0 Comments

Here's a wee video sharing a few words on upcoming events in Edinburgh (28th May) and London (1st July), speaking on relaxation, pleasure, hyperactivity, embodiment, cacao as an ally and gender... With Love... Welcome, I'm Annu! I write about embodying the roots of...

How To Work Intuitively With Your Jade Egg

by Annu | May 7, 2018 | Blog, Inspiration, Practices, Uncategorized, Writing | 0 Comments

Working with a jade egg can greatly assist female embodiment – this is the descent or bringing down of consciousness into the vagina and womb space. For some women, they are already naturally situated here and can access their pelvic space, feminine power and...

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I love you.
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I miss you.
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I’m here.
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Loving & acknowledging that which is broken. Returning it to the sea.
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#griefritual #sandplay #mandorlaconsciousness #tensionofopposites #innermarriage #grief #findingroots #polarity #commitment #beingrighthere #intimacywithotherness #embodyingtruth #embodiedfeeling #loveasoffering #tearsasoffering #thankyou #portobellobeach #elementalallies #createwhereithurts #ephemeralart

As I begin to arrive naked into the roots of my life, I’m experiencing this as a kind of shattering process – a shattering that has an awakening quality because the open arrival in depth is inextricably woven with the choice to not go anywhere else. I choose This by saying no the deluge of other options available to me. I arrive because I no longer go anywhere else, and day by day I’m doing my best to stay sober in this – without medicines, without grasping at other people’s truths, without immitation, without projecting my need for roots onto other indigenous wisdom traditions, practices and peoples, without grasping at spiritual bliss, without self-harm, without reacting and distancing myself from otherness. I could go on… the list is a shocker.
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It’s a process – to Be Here and abide in the belly of Reality. I’m newly arriving in the awakened root system, so I’m learning day by day. Sometimes I can speak fiercely about this, other times with tenderness, and right now there’s also a lot of grief and despair. I’m trusting I’ll stabilise in that. Maybe not, who knows…
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My closing sentiments on this topic:
Listen to the medicine – receive the actual teachings and begin applying them in your life for real. Don’t just be another spiritual consumer – do the work (it will ask everything of you), make the changes (hold the integrity of your inner realisations and outer life), tell the truth (always), find your actual proper roots (your body is the key), stop consuming other cultures and their spiritual traditions (learn & acknowledge – don’t steal & colonise), and find out what it means for you to wake up here and be truly, authentically you (clue: it’s already blueprinted in).
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Extract from blog post ‘Why I’m No Longer Teaching Ceremonial Cacao’
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Full read via link in bio
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#embodyingtruth #gettingrealgettingtrue #ixcacao #ceremonialcacao #plugintotheMotherboard #findyourrootsystem #intimacywithotherness #abidingwithReality #awakenyourroots #plantmedicine #listen #dietotheworld #borntotheearth #beherenow #becominghuman #earthwisdom #youbelonghere #trueyou #getnaked

🌀 SHARING STORIES 🌀
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It takes real courage and the discovery of your own grit to engage in the transformational work of awakening, getting in right-relation & being Source-aligned, bringing our inner realisations into form & engaging the soul’s journey of Becoming..
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One of the greatest joys of this work is the gift of intimacy, tenderness and sincere appreciation that is born through witnessing and walking with another on their own journey of uncovering the deep Self.
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There’s an incredible and sometimes paradoxical understanding that arises through this work, which is that our unique, intimate stories are inherently connected.
It’s paradoxical because we must each learn to abide in our aloneness, but the coming into Life, engaging in integrative practice and blossoming the fruit of our inner work & realisations can meet with such immense resonance, sweetness & tender-heartedness in the sharing of our lives & love with ashramic tribe.
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We each hold within us such unique facets of Self that are made to be witnessed, heard, felt, expressed and that this in itself is essential to Life – our HUMANITY is essential to Life – and it becomes strongly-rooted in the good soil of generosity, openness, innocence, kindness, courage and vulnerability.
This is the power of community – and our rounded, well-rooted and rich integration depends on our taking the risk to speak, daring to share what we are, how our passion, power and vulnerability move us, and by making a foot-on-the-ground stand for our individual odyssey of the deep Self terrains.
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I embarked on a series of conversations at the beginning of this year with some of the beautiful souls I’ve been working together with over the years through a wide variety of channels and vehicles of this work.
We dialogued with a specific focus on the work that brings us together, looking at what moves us as individuals as well as collectively in our collaborative gathering. Some of this conversations can be found in Sharing Stories, which is mixed in with testimonials of my work. But I'm inspired to curate a bigger project on just this story-telling alone, which I'm looking to undertake this Winter.
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Link via bio 💜

NEW BLOG POST: Why I’m No Longer Teaching Ceremonial Cacao.
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I just posted this to my mailing list & Facebook group last night (direct link in bio).
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I’ve been wanting to write this post for some time - seems dynamic Uranus did a good job on me to liberate the material! ⚡️ This is significant for me. I've been working with this medicine in one way or another for 7 years, and I've been teaching it for 4 of those. I don't want to say much more so just read the post if you're interested to know what's been happening.
A lot is ending right now. It's a pivotal and poignant time!
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And with this comes beginnings too - I'm so aware that there's an open door before me right now and I'm in a strong process of awakening into the roots of Life.
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What does it mean for us to arrive so nakedly in the deep belly and root system of Life?
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And how can we engage more honestly in our learning to be together, our collaborative creativity, and in the vibrant aliveness of honest grief, vulnerability, passion and openness that the Unknown is inviting for us?
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These are some of the genuine enquiries that are moving in me as I stand before the open door of my second life (the Midlife is actual, real thing for those of you who haven't yet reached your early forties).
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I want to know who's Here. Who is present and accountable? And who is making their way into being truly rooted - instinctively, intuitively, uncoilingly?
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That will probably make more sense once you've read the blog post - but the open curiosity of this still stands.
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What times huh?! Sending my exhale of Love <3
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P. S. I’m so appreciating the comments coming in on the blog & FB group for this - thank you so much for the support! Looking forward to replying soon - right now I’m going to go walk in the rain, find some trees and good coffee to accompany my book, so I can digest the release 🌪🔥☕️ 🌳🍃
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#feelingelemental #hereticaltruthtelling #ceremonialcacao #plantmedicine #sacredchocolate #ceremonialgradecacao #ixcacao #awakeningintotherootsoflife #gettingrealgettingtrue #embodyingtruth #personalpractice #plugintothemotherboard #getfree #groundzerotruth #plantconsciousness #earthmedicines #alchemicalchocolate

{swipe for second frame}: Witness our external manifestation of inner-displacement... witness the times we are living in - we are on the move, we are changing, Life is spontaneously evolving.
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I’m really examining these days what it means to have a Home, and I’m understanding that it’s so much more than bricks + a roof over our heads.
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It is intrinsically woven to our sense of belonging, the connection with community, that we are wanted and welcomed by Life, to our bottom-line value in the world that is not reduced to consumerism but is rooted in holistic Being + how we engage in together-relating and that no matter what, we each have something worthwhile and meaningful to offer and bear witness to in this adventure of Life...
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I’m paying homage to all of us that are refugee, homeless, migrant, nomadic & orphan. I can speak for myself but I also see this reflected in our collective field - we are displaced because we are moving, we are dismantling and being-dismantled, we are finding our way to plug into the Motherboard directly in truth, surrender & authenticity, and the process of this is impacting, catalysing, galvanising alchemy in the inner state and reflecting in the outer world. So, welcome to those who are in this process, and thank you. It’s crucial to offer kindness and compassion to the displaced and exiled in us all - for the folding in of these parts brings something valuable, essential even, in terms of how we find and ignite our accurate rooting system as true humans. .
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#gettingrealgettingtrue #findingourtruehome #glasgow #globalrefugeecrisis #bringingtheexiledhome #plugintothemotherboard #togethering

Finally! The new webpage is up on annutara.co.uk
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I really love 1-1 mentoring session work. It’s part of my purpose & passion and I’ve been engaged in it for a very long time. So great to see it move to the next level.
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Take a look and welcome to be in touch if this is something you want to get into with me - if you feel this form of guidance and support could be beneficial for where you are right now. Link in bio 👁
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#mentoring #gettingrealgettingtrue #sessionwork #transformationalguidance #hereticaltruthtelling #ancientfuture #becomingfree #humanwisdom #embodyingtruth

Ready for our Lughnasadh Homecoming ceremony - gathering and weaving the first harvest of our year-long soul work. What’s been born of this work so far for me is more than deep, it’s born me. Right from the beginning, it was conjured and guided by the non-linear & Instinctual, which somehow is offering map & container for what I’m now understanding as the systemic and endemic rootlessness and homesickness experienced in a world that is so insanely upside-down and wrong-way round. A world made up of political, economic, social, spiritual, and cultural systems that actually teach us nothing about what it means to be a true human, in the deepest, humblest, naked and honest sense. It’s clear to me - through this work and that of a few other renegades - that you have to completely go off map for this breathing enlivening awakening discovery. If we’re lucky, we are gifted a few fragile threads from our ancestral lines that somehow (and against the odds) managed to keep the flame burning - those that carry the real wisdom. But mostly we just have to be so deeply dismantled, transmuted and reignited to really come home.
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Still in it. Still being dismantled - grateful that now there is also ignition. Thinking of all we each have to pass though in this process, and all that is to be discovered when we take responsibility in Life and let go to Mystery. Baby steps in my second this-life. 🔥🌾🌻
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#homecomingwithannuandjulie #lughnasadh #lammasfestival #firstharvest #transformation #embodyingtruth #awakeningtolife #gettingrealgettingtrue

$I’m learning albeit as an infant to meet the depth of my own belly. To sink down into this without any attempt to gasp at air or fight the darkness and weight of the water. At first it was terrifying, also to those around me - I still get scared but less and less so. What I’m learning here is that Grief is native to this land - it’s not an emotion, it’s a depth environment. It’s what naturally occurs when you arrive here. And that scares all of us. Until it doesn’t. . From Stephen Jenkinson: Humanity is an allegation not a description. . It’s a rumour and in some respects it’s a cruel rumour because it is such a fugitive and a phantom so often. Then awakening is principally awakening to how fugitive one’s humanity really is, and how possible it is to so deeply betray it. Even though it would appear to be something which is quote “ours”. But I’m suggesting it probably isn’t ours, even our own humanity is entrusted to us. Not as a personal possession but perhaps in a way that domestic animals on a farm are entrusted to you. That establishes a kind of covenantal way of proceeding the two of you together. And maybe humanity is something similar - that it asks much more of you than it would appear to give you. . If you awaken to that, and that’s just the personal experience level. I don’t know how the tone of your awakening could be anything other than a sob, frankly. . And that sob might be the operatic sound that awakening really calls for. Then imagine that you’re awakening in a time and a place that is so palpably troubled and troubling, that it’s almost a compound fracture to awake in such times. And to actually make the case that your awareness is more necessary now when there is much less of a payday for it than it might have been when the stakes weren’t so grim or so high. . How to make such a case? How to go from city to city, or interview to interview and pitch this idea as somehow good for you? But I’m not sure it is good for you as much as it may enable you towards a kind of goodness that is so counter-intuitive. That it asks, well - it asks the world of us maybe. . Extract from Living With Meaning - Stephen Jenkinson interview with Chris Marten$

Our instinctual self is the part of us that is never separate from the true nature of Life itself. It is intrinsic to the earth, to creation, to the Mother, to existence, as individual cells of the one body of our one being, and includes the animal, plant, mineral, clay, elemental qualities within us that emanate, pulsate, are enlivened and informed by the deep intelligent core of matter.
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Our instinctual self is endowed by the Mystery to move between the unconscious and conscious realms as messenger, translator, tracker, sniffer, deep self response, guide, aid, ally, visceral communicator – this is our intelligent non-linear embodied nature.
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We can connect with our instinctual self through our belly-sphere, our tan tien, hara, womb consciousness – as the birthplace of our indigenous human wisdom.
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It speaks of and communicates the ancestral, planetary and subterranean truths that our mind and sometimes even our hearts don’t have access to.
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The instinctual self has the great ability to draw blessings and boons from the divine, which can aid resolve, bring ease to hardship, and offer ingenuity, and even guile, toward challenge and great tests. The innocence, humility and natural law to which the instinctual self belongs allows for the evocation of Grace.
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It’s the essential part of us that is able to pull through crisis, overwhelm, loss, impossible feats & challenge, despair, and adversity. It’s what aids in transforming breakdown into breakthrough, and emergency into emergence.
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Text extract from the Homecoming program with Annu + @juliegibbons .
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#homecomingwithannuandjulie #lughnasadh #firstharvest #lammas #instinctualself #embodyyourmyth #loveovereverything #instinctualasindigenous #humanwisdom #planetarybody #breakdowntobreakthrough #spiritualcrisis #earthcrisis #sacredactivism #recoveringourtruenature

If you’ve been following any of my posts over the past few months, you may be getting the gist that I’m going through a strong life-shifting process. I haven’t been publicly transparent to the exact nature of what’s fully going on because I’m still so in-it but I’ve been sharing wee snippets here and there.
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The crossroads of our lives are powerful and impactful. This is where I am but I’m realising I can’t linger here for much longer. I have to actually begin giving form to my choices and embody the integrity that’s aching to mark my life, and commit to the sacrifices and loses of the path that will make space for what’s far truer to arrive.
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One of these choices is that I’m no longer offering Kambo treatments, and indeed my work with the medicines is completing now. I’ve been working with medicines for many years and it’s the work people know me for, so this is a significant shift on some levels.
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I’ve been torn through understanding how beneficial the medicines are - but specifically with Kambo I have grave ethical concerns that I just can’t live with. It actually hurts my body to observe how the frog serum is harvested even though there is adamant general consensus that the frog is not harmed. My instinctual deep-feeling body tells me otherwise. And I trust that voice over everything. I am also facing and moving through lots of other ethical issues around using this method outside of its native environment. It’s complex - and I can’t say I’ve any clear answers but I’m listening, observing and digesting the conversations and interconnected themes that are so prevalent in my mind, heart and soul these past months. I’ve also experienced first hand that the depth of resolve the medicines offer can be met without medicine - and indeed there is a whole vista of teachings that cannot be accessed & absorbed whilst we hand over any bottom line responsibility to the aid of medicine. It’s a biggy! I want to write more on this - but for the moment, I can at least make a mark to support what is truthfully moving in me. .
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#kambo #sapo #medicine #change #embodyingtruth #loveovereverything #thesleepingphoenix #ashestoashes #harvestofmyhomecoming #tellthetruth

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Is This Our First Time Meeting?

Welcome, Dear You…

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Let's stay in touch - for occasional personal sharing, early release events & news updates (I don't spam or clog up your inbox)

Connect Via The Blog

Why I’m No Longer Teaching Ceremonial Cacao

The Nature of Surrender

The Roar of Love – an ecstatic movement mix

Chambers – a sonic practice

Sounds That Move In The Dark

Unwinding The Enjoyment Body

How To Work Intuitively With Your Jade Egg

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